How to Really Overcome Common Practical Problems in Meditation

Meditation is an important term in all spiritual teachings. Every spiritual tradition or religion talks about a way to reach a connection to gods or to one's inner self or soul. I wrote a general article about meditation but in this article I would like to address the common problems in meditation that everyone experiences. You know, there is a lot of advice all around the internet and spiritual books, but sometimes they sound too generic and too wise, if you know what I mean. Sometimes when asking questions like How do I silence my mind in meditation? I found answers like Just let go of the thoughts. or Calm the lake of your mind so you can see the moon's reflection. Right...ummm what shall I do again?

Don't get me wrong, some spiritual puns and stories are very deep and powerful. Koans in Zen Buddhism are a great way to open one's mind, but I remember times when I was really struggling in meditation and spiritual life in general and I really needed instructions on what to do next. I just didn't know and all the deep quotes and stories felt empty to me. This article contains some ideas that might help people who are in a similar situation. Huge thanks and credits to BSWA. Their talks and guided meditations helped me enormously when I found myself in such a spiritual plateau.

Many times when I sit in meditation pose I just feel like not meditating at all. Nothing works, no peace is coming, I just wasted my time now. The truth is that I didn't waste any time! Imagine monks, every day of their life is full of meditation. They live in a monastery where nobody disturbs them, they have a lot of time to meditate every day, and yet they also struggle with the same problems as lay people. So, do not expect miracles with meditation! In fact, don't expect anything at all. Well, you have to expect something to actually be motivated but take it easy.

You know what was my best and most memorable meditation so far? It was full of peace and inner joy! It was not in a forest, monastery, at a retreat and I was not feeling healthy or spiritually motivated at all. One day I felt really tired after some programming, I had a slight headache and my stomach was upset. I sit down to meditate and my intention was just to sit for a few minutes to get some energy and rest. I totally gave up, just resting. Annoying thoughts coming? Yea, whatever. Butterflies in my stomach? Can't be helped. After a few minutes all these problems started feeling like outside me, all around me but not me. I fell into a really deep and nice meditation for about an hour! And you know what? The problems were all gone after the meditation.

Every meditation, no matter if good or bad, is useful! As Buddha said a story about a carpenter who uses his axe and does not notice how it is gradually being worn off, in the same way we often do not see our small steps forward on the spiritual path. Even if the meditation is totally different from what we expected, from what we heard about it, we still had the good intention to meditate and we got to know our mind a little bit better than before. Even when seeing the unpleasant sides of our mind.

Five Hindrances

I think that Buddha nailed it! No matter whether you are a Buddhist, yoga practitioner, or simply someone who likes to calm the mind, the five hindrances are something that every meditator can relate to. They are described in Saṃyutta Nikāya, one of the main books of Buddha's discourses. There are many suttas which I recommend to read where people ask Buddha about meditation and describe their problems. He addressed a lot of them with great pieces of advice. I will use these five to categorize the common problems in meditation. Note, that even these five are interconnected and basically the same. We are simply trying to control everything too much. We are simply too much we. I often felt the obstacles in meditation almost physically. It felt like a solid wall in front of me and I was trying to smash it with my head. The irony is that when I forgot about it, I could walk through. The wall was never there at all. Oh no...I am starting to say these deep things with no meaning, please read further, it gets more practical, I promise! :D

Sensual Desire

Watching TV, playing computer games, swiping through Instagram posts, posting my own photos on Facebook, eating good food, being out with friends, having a good time with a partner, reading a good book, doing sports, etc. Are all these things not better that just sitting in a silence? Am I missing out? What if I did something else now... And an endless train of thoughts starts its journey! My imagination is powerful. I can spend hours, usually before I fall asleep, imagining various things and scenarios. This often happens in meditation. We imagine things that we crave for. We are looking forward to something, we are thinking about ways how to achieve various things that we believe will make us happy. Sometimes the excitement is too strong that we feel like getting up and doing something to get what we want. The sitting is too boring, we need to feel things through our senses, good things, pleasant things that we all know! Oh I know, this meditation will not help me get what I want! I will first get all the nice stuff and meditate later!

Actually, sometimes this is not a bad idea. Sometimes, it is just not the right time to meditate. It is completely OK not to meditate and go for a walk instead, get a nice food, even watch a movie. Meditation should not be a punishment for our mind and body. It should be a great time of relaxation and joy which refreshes us! Buddha preferred the middle way and turned away from strict asceticism. He remembered a random moment in his life when he was just chilling in the garden, how good it felt, just relaxing. That was the key moment that led to his enlightenment.

However, it is the middle way, so our mind and body should not fall into the abyss of greed. When there is too much desire, the great way to reduce it is to go further. As Ajahn Brahm often says, go beyond the happy ending at the end of fairy tales, or beyond the epic sunset at the end of the movie. What happens next? Will the prince and princess really live happily ever after? What if they divorce later? What if I get all I want, will something actually change in my life? Will I be really satisfied? Have you really never experienced the feeling of excitement when really wanting something and then the slight disappointment of the result? Our goals are often better in our imagination than they actually are in reality. Buddha clearly discerned between samsara - the material world which is full of suffering, and nibbana, the freedom from suffering. We sometimes tend to transform samsara to nibbana but this is not possible! As long as we live in this world we will always feel uncomfortable from time to time. Even Buddha felt pain, just like anybody else. He even died of sickness, food poisoning.

There are also other tips such as to disassemble the object of our desire. Is it a nice girl? What's inside? Blood, tissue, feces, urine, muscles, bones... Also, sometimes when the conditions are right, we get into a really pleasant states of stillness in meditation. Recalling these states can help enormously in beating up sensual desires. We simply get something better and more joyful. Pleasure connected to senses simply feels less desirable then. All perceptions are staring to feel more or less the same, pleasure or pain, gain or loss, success, all is just like castles of sand that kids play with.

Ill Will

Sometimes we really want something, sometimes we really wish to get rid of something. We might be really angry with people around. That stupid boss, the kids being too annoying, the husband being good for nothing, the wife surely about to disturb my meditation in a few minutes... We might be angry with the whole world. The politicians and their greed causing wars and climate changes... We might be angry with ourselves. I am worthless, I didn't do anything productive today, I wanted to get some peace now in meditation and even that is not working... And we might be right!

Even if we are right, what does it matter? During such moments I always ask myself: Does this though really lead to peace and joy in my life? Very often I can see that the only reason why I judge other or myself is simply to ensure that my self exists, that I have my own opinion which is right of course. But is it really my opinion? The problem of free will has been discussed a lot. When I look at my past, I can see why I make the decisions that I do. We are all products of the environment around, people around, culture around... All of us, even the people we hate. We are on the same boat and we could have ended up at their place if we were born at a little bit different place. This leads to metta meditation where we first imagine people we love or people we feel compassion for or even cute animals or our favorite teddy bear. Then we slowly widen this circle by adding more and more beings until we include everyone, even people we do not like at all. I remember meditating and feeling this anger and anxiety of someone coming in my room and disturbing me. My whole meditation will be ruined. I need a continuous silence now but some people don't care! Then I realized that even the happiness gained in meditation, that's not my happiness, that's not me. I got suddenly quite peaceful! When you realize that something is not yours, you just stop being angry or anxious about it. When you watch news in the TV you see people being killed and robbed but you are just an observer. It is not happening to you. Same feeling.

The concept of cycle of hatred (I got this term from Naruto anime :D) means that hatred just brings more hatred. Even when we are angry at our own mind, it is not getting peaceful enough! We then get angry about being angry, etc. It's good enough! No need to be better. No need to improve. Good as it is. Acceptance and kindness is the most important thing in meditation. To accept things as they are. Being in the present moment does not mean being extremely concentrated at the breath or not feeling anything at all. Being present means accepting everything! Really everything! Not just everything that I want. And caring for everything. If there is an annoying thought, fear, anxiety, hatred, just embrace it! Oh my dear anxiety, here you are again! I know you so well! Where have you been? Oh don't be anxious, come here! Crack a joke, seriously, tell your bad feelings a joke! It is impossible to feel humor and fear at the same time.

Dullness and Drowsiness

Sometimes we are really tired or not motivated. Definitely no energy to meditate, even though meditation should recharge us again. After a few minutes of meditating we fall asleep.

Good night. Seriously, trust your body! If I feel like sleeping I just go to sleep. Sleep is really important, one of the most important things regarding mental and physical health. When my body hurts, I do lying down meditation. Even Buddha had to rest because his back hurt from all the sitting. It's good to perform such meditation in a different position that your sleeping one. I usually sleep on my side, so when I do lying meditation, I lie on my back. Sometimes we feel too dull even after a good sleep. I think that the best motivation to follow a spiritual path is to do something good for others. Activities like that are an incredible source of energy and inspiration. I remember times when I did a volunteer job, helping people who needed it and even though it was hard work, tiring, exhausting, I felt so full of energy afterwards! Sometimes, when I just stay home and preserve energy, I feel even more tired. Another great motivation can be gained from reading of spiritual texts or listening to talks. Being in direct or indirect contact with people who are also trying to follow a spiritual path is really important.

This might sounds totally crazy but whatever. Smile. Put a smile on your face during meditation when you feel down or not motivated. I remember trying this, just smiling or remembering something funny or imagining a funny situation during meditation. I am not kidding, I sometimes burst out laughing during meditation! You might say that I am not very still and peaceful in such moments but such joyful and playful behavior can really enhance the meditation enormously. It is not boring anymore. The mind will always feel bored if the activity we do is not fun. Make meditation fun!

Creating a habit might also help. Like meditating every day before going to sleep. Just setting achievable goals like 5 minutes every day. But be careful, meditation is not a duty, it should be fun. I sometimes imagine meditation as a well full of joy and happiness inside me. I can drink from it whenever I need to for free.

Restlessness and Remorse

Too many thoughts often flood our mind, especially when we sit to meditate. We need to adjust our body again and again and the position still does not feel right. We need to change the meditation object, the type of meditation, oh and make note about the cool idea before we forget.

Similarly to what I wrote above, if you have an urgent desire to write something down, just do it. If you feel like your leg is not in a good position, adjust it. There is no right position for meditation. Crossed legs or even the crazy lotus position with hands connected? My guess is that the typical crossed-legged meditating position is simply something very practical and I don't believe the theories about flow of chi energy etc. Monks living in a forest, homeless, with a piece of cloth around their body, what is the best position they can get almost anywhere? Exactly the crossed-legged one. It's just the most convenient position which makes the body well balanced when there is no chair or sofa around. I use this position a lot but I often do it in my bed, leaning against pillows with by back. It feels the best! Just do whatever position feels good! The main thing is to relax the body. So adjust it many times if you need to. Just help the body, don't torture it. But there is a time to say Alright, that's good enough! A little bit of discomfort is allowed!

Or the annoying and repetitive thoughts. When we try to get rid of them, they just come back even more. Yea, I know the advice of simply observing them and letting them go and fade away like the frames on a filmstrip. But sometimes the strip is repeating, the thoughts fade away and come back again. So maybe the mind just really needs to explore them. Let it! Alright my dear mind, here you have 10 minutes and you can do whatever you need to. Any thoughts are welcome. Just do what you need to. When I say this to myself, sometimes it takes the opportunity and that's alright. But sometimes it almost feels like the mind is ashamed and confused. It just gets quiet. Do you know the joke about the religious preachers who go house by house and knock on the door of random people and want to tell them something about their faith? Then someone opens and invites them in, gives them a cup of tea, makes them sit in a comfortable armchair, and asks them about their faith. So, what do you want to tell me? They nervously look around and reply: Well, we don't know. We never got this far. It feel like that sometimes.

I sometimes visualize things in my head to prepare for the meditation. Like putting away really heavy bags, one is the past, one is the future. Or if there are many things to think about or to plan, I just go through them one by one and I even lift up my hand, grab something in my hair and put it to the shelf. I imagine grabbing the objects of the thoughts in my head, pulling them out and putting them away so I can pick them up after meditation. As a programmer I sometimes even look at my brain as a PC. I imagine pushing the power off button of it or pull out the power supply cable. Visualization is often a good tool to calm down the mind and the body. It is usually hard to get really still right away at the beginning of the meditation. I sometimes imagine my head opening, disconnecting the brain from the spinal cord, taking it out and washing in a cool water of a mountain waterfall. Then using power washer to clean the inside of the skull so the brain then returns to a clean environment. Or imagining relaxing in a cozy bed somewhere in the wilderness on the top of the mountain. Another way of stilling the mind and body is a relaxation of the body, focusing on each part of the body, from toes to head, greeting each part like a good friend.

Doubt

Sometimes we are just not sure. Is this kind of meditation good? We try many types, trying to find the best one. That's good, everyone has different needs. But sometimes we think too much and forget that we can't think our way to enlightenment.

I used to read a lot of philosophical books, but nowadays, even though I still read a lot, I tend to value silence more than knowledge. Insights come naturally when the mind is still. When there are all those important questions in our mind, it is often great to put them aside. Just put them on the waiting list. If they are really that important, we won't forget them, right? Then meditate, still the mind. This happened to me so often. When I returned to the questions after a meditation, they were gone. The interest I had in them disappeared, to be more precise. No more desire for the answer. This showed me how intellectual solutions are always biased and never absolute. When thinking about spirituality I often had these amazing insights! Yes! This is it! I finally understand! And after a few months, regarding the same thing: Oh I was wrong before but now I get it! It's like this! And after a few other months: No, no, no, I was wrong before but this time is different... Nah, it's endless. Just relax. Buddha said that even though there is no self at all, if we were to regard something as self, it should be rather body than mind since the mind is too unstable. I remember that sometimes when I felt dubious I simply looked around or started focusing on something physical, like breath. It often made me feel like waking up from a dream.

It reminds me a bit of Thomas Aquinas. He was a famous catholic philosopher who wrote a lot of deep contemplations about various theological topics. Then he had some kind of spiritual experience, and suddenly he stopped writing and left his work unfinished. He said that everything he wrote seemed like a straw to him. Maybe he saw through the emptiness of thoughts after experiencing the real inner peace?

A lot of various information gets into my mind from different religious teachings. It is actually quite hard to find our what is a good way to follow. I think that the best guideline is to look ar where it leads. When I am not sure about something, I always try to ask myself a question: Which of these things brings the most happiness to me and others? There are many noble goals and powerful statements. Divine and lofty reasons to do or avoid doing something. But what is the goal really? We just all wish to be happy! That is my priority. Seeking real happiness.

I hope that this article helped you at least a bit to improve your meditation. What I believe is the most important thing is kindness. Literally everything that happens in the meditation is the manifestation of your mind. Accept it, care for it. You need to learn about your mind in order to lead it to peace. We often let our desires, expectations, and knowledge blind us. Everything is fine and good enough in meditation. One more advice is to try guided meditations. The guidance can often help significantly a lot to make the mind more stable.

Keywords: nibbana, nirvana, dhamma, contemplation
#buddha #meditation #meditationpractice #howtomeditate